I have a stack of books at home now that I have intended to read but for one reason or another, I don't make the effort. It's dishonest for me to tell someone who lends me a book that I'll read it but not get to it. I apologize for that.
That being said, I'll make another confession. In the past, I have treated Gods' Word like the Sunday newspaper. I skim through it, look at the parts that interest me, and then pitch it in the re-cycle bin. The next Sunday, same routine. Not what you would expect an elder to say? Would you rather read, something to "make you feel good", or tickle your ears? Something insightful, and thought-provoking? I'm not your guy. But God.
The past year has brought many changes in my life. My job is a roller coaster ride wearing a blindfold sitting backwards in the seat. I have been neglectful at home and not paid enough attention to Kim (who, by the way, is a saint). My house would give Bob Vila (TV home improvement guy) the shivers. But God.
Then I was elected to be an elder. Warts and all. Then this and that and conflicts, and changes, and ruffled feathers, and blah blah blah. But God.
I tried writing something insightful, with brevity, perhaps a small portion of wit and wisdom. In fact, I had started 3 different commentaries and tossed them. But God.
At times I felt I have wasted a good portion of my life on ME. At times I felt alone in this life, even with Kim and the boys. At times I had wanted to run out the door down the street screaming at the top of my lungs. At times I had felt like falling asleep and not waking up. At times I put on a happy face and pretended. But God.
I am a sinner, destined one day to spend eternity in Hell. But God.
You can choose to dismiss this commentary. You can comment one way or another. You can un-elder me if that is what you want. At this point in my life, I am in His Hands, and I have God to answer to. I am His child and choose to devote my life completely to Him. I have nothing but myself to give. I am not a smart person, not eloquent and apparently not a good teacher. But I give what I am, and what I have, to God for His Honor and Glory. He has promised me a place with Him someday, not that I deserve it, or earned it with "good works", or looked on favorably by others. But by His Grace through His Sons' Sacrifice.....for me!!
And you too.